Friday The 13th Movie Marathon On Friday The 13th

This is a tradition of mine for as long as I can remember.  Before the days of DVD’s I remember popping in different VHS tapes with the horror classics recorded on them from when Joe Bob Briggs hosted a Monstervision that featured I think five of the Friday the 13th films.  I was probably about around the age of ten but this was not my initial exposure to the franchise that came a few years earlier when I caught the eighth installment on television and could not turn away from it.  I remember being curious about what the previous seven had to offer but being like eight years old I could not get near any of these movies in their true form so when this marathon came around I was all over it.  Thus every year since I have tried to watch as many Friday the 13th films I can on any give Friday the 13th.  If you are still stuck on what Monstervision was here is a TV spot for it:

If you need a refresher on any of these Friday The 13th/Jason Voorhees movies click on any of the links below.  I am not embedding the videos in because this post would be ridiculously long.

Okay, set let the ranking begin from the worst to my favorite of the franchise. (And warning if you have not seen all of the movies this will contain SPOILERS.)

12.)    Jason Goes to Hell

This movie was such a disgrace.  I feel like they tried to answer a question that no matter what answer you gave it was not going to leave a good taste in the mouth of any Friday The 13th fan.  That question of course is “How the hell does Jason Voorhees keep coming back stronger than the last movie?”  I thing most fans would have been just fine accepting that he is a zombie!  But they had to venture almost into the science fiction realm with this demon worm thing going from person to person and when Jason comes back you stab him with this special knife it will sent him to hell.  No this could have been a cool movie if it were to have had nothing to do with this franchise.  If they applied this idea to a whole different zombie serial killer it could have been good but they should have left Jason out of it.   2/10

11.)     Jason X

As if the Jason Goes to Hell was not sci-fi/fantasy enough for you these filmmakers wanted to toss the machete wielding Jason Voorhees into out space in a distant future where human like androids with no nipples and little micro bugs that patch up wounds and dead flesh.  Again, they tried to understand how he kept coming back to life but just decided to have a little fun with the setting and in a way it kind of was fun.  But it was so poorly scripted and acted that it never really got interesting.  Like the previous movie on this list I applaud the idea but it just does not work with the franchise.   4/10

10.)     Friday the 13th Part 5:  A New Beginning

I think it is pretty obvious that Paramount could not leave the cash cow franchise alone after the fourth film.  So they decided to follow the successful fourth film with this piece of garbage.  The scares and kills go well with the franchise but it all ended up being a scam!  Jason was not even in this movie, I mean I know he was not in the original film but the reason for all the sequels was that he was the one kills Camp Crystal Lake’s visitors.  Plus all the paranoia of the film’s lead character gets flat out annoying at times.  The rest of the films after this are ones that I can watch more regularly.   4/10

9.)     Freddy Vs. Jason

I know this is not an official Friday the 13th film but because of the fact that Jason Voorhees appears in it, I am including it.  This could have been something great!  I mean it definitely gives fans what they wanted, a classic show down in both killers’ worlds each.  The way in which they brought the two slasher legends together was the best part of this film.  But that is where the pros just about end really.  The cast was mostly annoying except for Brendan Fletcher as Mark one of the two in the asylum.  He was hysterical and the only really rounded character to me.  All the rest I could not wait to see if Jason or Freddy were going to get them and just left me wanting more.   5/10

8.)     Friday the 13th (2009 Remake)

A question I have been asking myself a lot lately “Why are they remaking that?”  I stand behind the idea that it the original movie was good there is no need to update it or remake it.  This is a pretty good example.  It pretty much sums up movies 1-3 which I thought was pretty cool but at the same time does nothing different which helps and hurts it.  It helps because Jason is a runner again instead of a slow walking but somehow still manages to show up everywhere zombie!  At the same time if there is nothing different you wonder why they had to remake it.  Also it bordered on being too funny that it almost mocked itself and kind of takes you out of the tense part of the movies.  This was a better remake than say Michael Bay’s A Nightmare On Elm Street or Rob Zombie’s abominable Halloween7/10

7.)    Friday the 13th Part 2

This film marked the debut of the camp-party pooper Jason Voorhees.  This installment has a lot to be praised for.  I definitely is creepy and makes you rethink wanting to be a camp counselor.  The thought of a deranged man seeking revenge for his mother’s death reason enough to be creeped out but that it is a guy with a pitchfork and a potato sack over his head with only eye hole really makes you wonder not only what he is capable of but also what lies underneath that sack that he only needs one eye hole?  Plus the film’s star, Amy Steel was actually really good in my opinion or at least way above par when compared to most other performances in this genre.  Plus who could forget some of the final scene and the classic line of “Jason, mother is talking to you!”   7/10

6.)     Friday the 13th

This is the movie that started it all.  This movie is iconic for so many reasons.  It introduced us to so many stereotypes that fuelled so many sequels and encouraged many imitations.  Most films or franchises have a theme song that ties all the films together.  Halloween has that eerie piano theme, the Nightmare films have that xylophone chime, and Saw has that big unravel, techno-esque song at the conclusion of its films from Charlie Clouser.  The Friday the 13th films have a sound that CH-CH-CH-AH-AH-AH that is enough to make the hair on your neck stand up because you know you are in for a jump scene.  Plus who could forget Betsy Palmer’s performance as Mrs. Voorhees.  Even though her time on screen is very limited (much like Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs) she still owns the movie.   8/10

5.)     Friday the 13th Part 7:  New Blood

This one and the next I know will shock a lot of horror fans but they just seem to strike something with me.  I thought the idea of Jason going up against of someone with telepathic powers was pretty cool and really leveled the playing field for a change.  Normally it is see Jason and run for a lot of characters but this one she was actually able to combat him, slow him down, and have him hanging from a rope for a change.  I also feel this one had the most cringe inducing screams ever from one of its minor characters, Maddy.  If you have seen it you know what I mean.  8/10

4.)     Friday the 13th Part 8:  Jason Takes Manhattan

As I said earlier this was the first film of the franchise that I saw so naturally that may affect my rating of it.  Something about the slimey zombie look suited Jason for this movie.  There are holes up the wahzoo in this one as far as consistency with the legend and the ending that makes absolutely no sense even though I think I knew what they were going for.  But like I indicated earlier the change of scenery is never a bad thing.  I kind of like the isolated in a boat with an unstoppable killing machine roaming the decks.  Plus I cannot help but laugh everytime I see the scene were when Jason gets threatened by the punks all he does flash them a look at his face and they freak out and run.  Love that scene.  I give it a biased 8/10.  (The music for the video below was subbed in for a joke but does not negatively impact it.)

3.)     Friday the 13th Part 6:  Jason Lives

Earlier I mentioned the five movie marathon hosted by Joe Bob Briggs on Monstervision, well this was the final movie of the marathon and the only clip I could find on YouTube from that marathon.  This was my favorite of the zombie era Jason films simple because it involved the person who killed him in the first place, Tommy Jarvis.  The humor was great for this kind of movie.  It had the light hearted business team playing paintball in the woods, the RV scenario was hysterical, the camp counselors and kids not really wanting to be there and the list goes on but none of it was over the top like in the remake.  Last but not least let us not forget the awesome song Alice Cooper wrote especially for this movie.  Below is the clip from the Monstervision marathon and Alice Cooper’s video for “The Man Behind The Mask.”

2.)     Friday the 13th Part 4:  The Final Chapter

Debatably the most respected of The Friday the 13th franchise next to the original, the fourth installment featured a lot of early appearances for actors to be known for greater things later, mainly just Crispin Glover and Corey Feldmen.  In a way the remake in 2009 most closely resembles this film but falls short in every respect.  The group of sex-crazed friends in the movie felt more authentic and really I guess likeable.  I mean watching Crispin Glover do his geek dance was easily one of the best dance scenes of any movie and you really hoped it would end up getting him laid so then when he does I remember when friend and I were watching it we all cheered for him.  Sign of a great character in a horror movie even if he not a major character and dies short after.  And how could you forget the machete beat down Jason got at the end of this one.  Damn.  Remember I did warn you about spoilers.  9/10

1.)       Friday the 13th Part 3

This one barely beats out The Final Chapter for my all time favorite Friday the 13th film.  It is the film where Jason first dawns the infamous hockey mask and is displayed as a tall and power force to be reckoned with.  Honestly, that might be the only thing it has over its successor because the two films are quite similar in kills and thrills even though it lack that “star power” if that is what you want to call what Glover and Feldman did for Part 4.  The 3D is as cheesy as 1980’s 3D can be but that almost gives it character.   9/10

So there it is.  My favorite Friday the 13th/Jason Voorhees films after re-watching them all this weekend.  This is by far the longest post I have ever done so I you managed to make it all the way through I applaud you and thank you for reading it all!

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